Birmingham Parents Support Group

Accepting your son or daughter is gay

Accepting

There is one thing that you must remember - it's not the end of the world.

In fact, it's the beginning.

Discovering that a member of your family is gay, lesbian or bisexual is often very distressing, since it can be difficult to understand exactly what this means and how or why it affects you.

Friends in a field

The most important thing to remember is that however you may feel in these circumstances, you are not alone. Since we are all parents in similar circumstances, we have been through the emotions that you may be going through and asked the same questions as those you may be asking.

We are here to listen and talk over the telephone and we hold informal monthly meetings in a friendly, relaxed atmosphere where we can lend a friendly ear and talk together about how we feel.

However difficult we may find it, we must break free from the common misunderstandings and fears that make it more difficult to accept homosexuality. Ignorance and prejudice in society affect our gay and lesbian children at every turn, so we should try to understand who they are and give them the acceptance and support that they deserve.

Please click on the link which is most appropriate to your situation:

Parents' Views

I feel the biggest mistake we as parents make when told of our child's sexuality is firstly to presume that being gay is their choice. When we realise that they have no choice and were born that way, it becomes easier. The second mistake we make is to blame ourselves for the way in which we have 'brought them up'. This is also untrue, as gay people come in all shapes and sizes and from all backgrounds.

At first it can be difficult to come to terms with the news, but what we have to remember is that it has taken a great deal of courage for our child to 'come out'. Any parent who needs help, a chat or friendly advice can call the parents' support group in their area.

As time goes on it does become easier to accept, until finally we realise it is us as parents who have a problem, and not our children.