Birmingham Parents Support Group

My son / daughter has just "come out"

My Son / Daugher Has Just Come Out

Everybody's experiences differ as people come from all sorts of backgrounds in different shapes and sizes, and the way sexuality is dealt with varies. So writing this article to suit all readers is difficult.

The most important thing to remember is that your son / daughter has not changed. Some parents see it as having an alien in the house.

Now your child has come out it does not automatically mean that he will adopt a limp wrist or she will become butch. Something you must not do is over-react and to think it's all your fault. That is completely untrue. It is not the way you brought your child up that has made them gay.

2 women playing a game

The worst thing you can do is pretend nothing has happened, brush it under the carpet and hope it will all go away. Don't say "It's just a phase". Your child may know otherwise and might be irritated by you saying this, especially when they've known for some time.

Hanging on to the hope that your child will change his / her mind will not work. They cant 'change' their mind.

Remember: sexuality is not a choice.

You have to realise that it's not your child with the problem, it's you.