Mrs B, Lichfield

I have a gay son.

When my son told me he was gay it was such a shock and I was completely devastated. I felt as though my life had been turned upside down and experienced bereavement for the loss of my son I thought I knew.

He was 32 when he told us and said he’d known from an early age. We had no idea, he hid it so well! He’s always had lots of friends and hobbies so we never thought it was strange that he’d not had a serious girlfriend.

When I look back all I can remember is how awful I was to him. It must have been so difficult for him to tell us and all I could do was to be angry with him. I didn’t understand how he could feel this way and thought it was a choice. He was very patient and always tried to explain it to me in a way I’d understand - ‘If it was a choice why would I choose to be gay, it’s not an easy way of life’. I was completely ignorant but I’ve learnt so much over the last five years.

Getting in touch with the BPSG group was out of my comfort zone and making the first phone call was difficult but I owed it to my son. I’m so glad I called on a Sunday morning when I couldn’t bring myself to do anything as I was so upset, Helen was amazing and really understanding.

Going to the group and meeting other parents who’ve experienced similar things and quite often felt the way I did has been such a big help when dealing with it all. I’m so glad I’ve come to terms with the situation because at one time it would have been so easy to have turned my back on him. What an absolute mistake that would have been! I would be lost without him in my life - he is the most caring and loving son anyone could have.

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